Sweet Lady Jane

(Image credit: sweetladyjane.com)

8360 Melrose Ave., 323-653-7145, sweetladyjane.com

The service at SLJ isn't particularly good. Most of the people working there are fairly weird in ways that range from "comical" to "in-patient." There was one story on LAist a while back from someone who dared run the wedding cake gantlet, which really must be read to be believed. Oh, and the French press coffee is mediocre at best, and don't even bother trying an espresso-based drink.

These are all valid concerns, I guess. But they're beside the point. Really beside the point. So far beside the point that if they had to commute to the point, they'd hear every minute of Morning Edition and All Things Considered en route.

And the point is this: Early every morning, under cover of locked doors and an army of deadly chinchillas (Editor's note: really? locked doors? pls verify), the bakers at Sweet Lady Jane churn out cakes that are good enough to make you re-evaluate the meaning of your existence. (In short: whatever it was before, it is now "to eat more cake.")

Some of our favorites include the chocolate fudge espresso, the chocolate strawberry shortcake, the white chocolate lemon, and -- if you think you might not have access to sugar for the next few years and really need to stock up -- the dulce de leche. You can try some of the more unconventional options if you want, like the oreo tiramisu, but I tend to favor sticking with cake. (Except the seven-layer chocolate, which is at least three-sevenths disappointing.)

Pro tip: Go right before they close (around 11:30 PM) and you can have your pick of the breads and breakfast pastries that they're getting rid of.

Even pro-er tip: If you want to sneak in after hours, the chinchillas respond well to Hot Pockets.